. . . please send cash. I am so broke, it's not even funny. But let me get to that.

I'll start with a list. As many of you know, I moved in May. Chris and I are enjoying this awesome apartment. Thing is, as much as I enjoy him, I have been wishing for more time to myself. Lots and lots more time. I think I am shifting into a bit of a different gear. I have a lot of projects going on. Plus I am feeling seriously resentful because he is even more poor than I am at this point. Draining resources = not good. Not trying to be cruel. It just is the way it is.

No my car is still not done. I could scream. Except that because of my parents' meddling, I still don't have a license anyway so it's a moot point. I *have* to have one before school starts, or I will have no way to get there. Chris can't let me use his car because I'm not insured. I know how to drive, so it is really frustrating . . .

The money from my parents runs out soon, and I'm still not able to get into any schools. I have stellar grades, write beautiful admissions essays, and have 90 million other things going for me, but no dice. Should I not be admitted to UW in winter, the shit will hit the fan. Either I will have to move, or . . . I refuse to think about the "or" scenarios, because they are all much worse. Like, life-ruining, quit school and get a job or move home worse. I would literally become a stripper to avoid any of the above. Loans are out of the question, my parents would have to co-sign for me to get a decent rate and that's not going to happen. On top of that, their income is too high for me to receive financial aid, even though they will not be paying my tuition. The frustration is beginning to sap all the initiative I have left.

God helps those who help themselves. Yeah, right.

If I'm going to become a stripper, I'd better join a damn gym.
I was thinking about it actually. It *is* cheaper than health insurance!

Luckily Seattle has a good public library system so I have something to pour myself into. Torrents are likewise free. So books and music it is. Things could be much, much worse I suppose.

Will be home for the rest of the summer beginning Sunday, with the possible exception of a week in California for some cousin's funeral. I am beginning to be nostalgic for the days of irresponsibility and high school. Almost, but not quite.

Top 5 Things I'm Currently Obsessed With:

1) Cosmopolitan magazine (Sarah figured this out long ago, and yes I know it's trashy, that's the point)
2) Papaya, the clothing store (makes me wish I had more money and was more buff)
3) Latin (been wanting to brush up again)
4) Tarot and all the other occult-y things I'd forgotten about for several years now
5) The Pirate Bay (I'm poor but not nearly as ashamed as I used to be)